Bill again. How to choose? Most facial hair arrangements are pretty standard:

Bill facial hair types

As a historian, I feel obligated to consider famous historical facial hair:

Ambrose Burnside

Ambrose Burnside: The original “sideburns” are a stereotype for over-the-top facial hair. He was a disaster of a general, but I’m still thinking of trying this one out.

Salvador Dali

Salvador Dali: Only an artist who drew melting timepieces could get away with this.

Tom Selleck

Tom Selleck: Uber-macho 80s ‘stache. My wife thinks he’s hot.

John Brown

John Brown: Patriarchal!

Usama bin Laden

Usama bin Laden: Ummm . . . no. Associations aside, it’s too much like steel wool.

Karl Marx

Karl Marx: Jeesh, you could lose a hoagie in there . . .

George Custer

George Custer—nice tight composition (and interesting ringlets). Old timey men were allowed to wear pretty girly hairstyles by our standards. I’ll try not to think about what happened to him.

Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp: Gunfighter chic

Rollie Fingers

Rollie Fingers: Trippy!

ZZ Top

ZZ Top: Oh yeah!

I came across a blog that covers more . . . interesting . . . facial hair options ( There’s some good stuff there:

face hair1 face hair2 face hair3 face hair4

I wish I could grow facial arabesques like this guy:

face hair arabesques

But that’s just not in the cards.