Archives for posts with tag: History

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Bill again. Occasionally, my previous calling as an old-timey interpreter provided an incentive to beard up. Here are some samples from the 1990s:

Bill vintage1 Bill vintage2

Mostly, my facial hair served to distract from the ridiculous Old Timey costumes I was wearing. And compared to real old-timey guys, my bristles were pretty tame. Here’s one example:


Did this guy really go into battle with that ‘stache?

I grew my current beard back in 2004 because I kept getting cast as an extra in Old West re-enactments for the History Channel. On one about the OK Corral, I was supposed to play Sheriff Johnny Behan, who looked like this:

Sheriff Johnny Behan

But I actually looked like this:

Bill sheriff

The other re-enactors laughed me out of Tombstone until I sprouted some facial hair.

Bill again. How to choose? Most facial hair arrangements are pretty standard:

Bill facial hair types

As a historian, I feel obligated to consider famous historical facial hair:

Ambrose Burnside

Ambrose Burnside: The original “sideburns” are a stereotype for over-the-top facial hair. He was a disaster of a general, but I’m still thinking of trying this one out.

Salvador Dali

Salvador Dali: Only an artist who drew melting timepieces could get away with this.

Tom Selleck

Tom Selleck: Uber-macho 80s ‘stache. My wife thinks he’s hot.

John Brown

John Brown: Patriarchal!

Usama bin Laden

Usama bin Laden: Ummm . . . no. Associations aside, it’s too much like steel wool.

Karl Marx

Karl Marx: Jeesh, you could lose a hoagie in there . . .

George Custer

George Custer—nice tight composition (and interesting ringlets). Old timey men were allowed to wear pretty girly hairstyles by our standards. I’ll try not to think about what happened to him.

Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp: Gunfighter chic

Rollie Fingers

Rollie Fingers: Trippy!

ZZ Top

ZZ Top: Oh yeah!

I came across a blog that covers more . . . interesting . . . facial hair options ( There’s some good stuff there:

face hair1 face hair2 face hair3 face hair4

I wish I could grow facial arabesques like this guy:

face hair arabesques

But that’s just not in the cards.

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