Bill again. Occasionally, my previous calling as an old-timey interpreter provided an incentive to beard up. Here are some samples from the 1990s:
Mostly, my facial hair served to distract from the ridiculous Old Timey costumes I was wearing. And compared to real old-timey guys, my bristles were pretty tame. Here’s one example:
Did this guy really go into battle with that ‘stache?
I grew my current beard back in 2004 because I kept getting cast as an extra in Old West re-enactments for the History Channel. On one about the OK Corral, I was supposed to play Sheriff Johnny Behan, who looked like this:
But I actually looked like this:
The other re-enactors laughed me out of Tombstone until I sprouted some facial hair.
Bill again. How to choose? Most facial hair arrangements are pretty standard:
As a historian, I feel obligated to consider famous historical facial hair:
Ambrose Burnside: The original “sideburns” are a stereotype for over-the-top facial hair. He was a disaster of a general, but I’m still thinking of trying this one out.
Salvador Dali: Only an artist who drew melting timepieces could get away with this.
Tom Selleck: Uber-macho 80s ‘stache. My wife thinks he’s hot.
John Brown: Patriarchal!
Usama bin Laden: Ummm . . . no. Associations aside, it’s too much like steel wool.
Karl Marx: Jeesh, you could lose a hoagie in there . . .
George Custer—nice tight composition (and interesting ringlets). Old timey men were allowed to wear pretty girly hairstyles by our standards. I’ll try not to think about what happened to him.
Wyatt Earp: Gunfighter chic
Rollie Fingers: Trippy!
ZZ Top: Oh yeah!
I came across a blog that covers more . . . interesting . . . facial hair options (http://interestingfacialhair.blogspot.com). There’s some good stuff there:
I wish I could grow facial arabesques like this guy:
But that’s just not in the cards.


























